


Forgive Me Father

by Love_andbalance



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Guilt, Rekindled Romance, Sex in Church, Temptation, Vaginal Sex, inappropriate use of a confessional, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:13:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_andbalance/pseuds/Love_andbalance
Summary: Temptations are as thick as the leaves of the forest, and no one can be out of the reach of temptation unless he is dead- Robert G. Ingersoll"Sorry, Daddy, I've been bad."She heard him sigh deeply from the other side of the screen. "For the last time, Rey, the line is 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 152





	Forgive Me Father

Rey watched with patient eyes as Father Ren walked briskly down the center aisle toward the confessional booth.

His long strides covered the space quickly and she let her eyes roam without shame over him as he passed her. He was a large man, easily over six feet tall and broad in the chest and shoulders. His face was pale, with a long nose and dark eyes that held an almost unnatural intensity.

Everything about him was remarkable, captivating, compelling. His job was to lead his flock away from temptation, but his appearance always caused more than a few women in every Mass to shoot him a quick and guilty lustful gaze.

He was running late today, and when he ran a hand through his hair, causing his black curls to cascade down to his collar in messy waves, she knew he was upset about it. He had always done that when he was upset, all the years she had known him.

He had been hers once, before he was Father Ren. When he was a wild and reckless young man with a heartbreaking smile. Before fate and family had torn them apart. His real name was Ben Solo.

Today he was dressed in the usual simple black jacket and pants that he always wore on days when he wasn’t conducting mass. He would have looked like anyone else, except for the clerical collar, with its iconic identifying shape. He gave it a quick tug, before stepping inside the confessional booth and closing it behind him.

She was the only one in the church, except him, but she was sitting in a far back pew, deep in the shadows cast by the flickering candlelight. He hadn’t noticed her when he walked by.

There was only ever one priest available to hear confession on Thursday evenings, and it was rare that anyone even bothered to show up. She had been coming every Thursday, but she only went into confession on the days that Father Ren was the priest on duty.

She didn’t want absolution. She wanted him.

She had missed him during the years they had been apart with a debilitating pain that had never truly faded.

Walking into church on a whim and finding him conducting Mass had been a blow she had not been expecting. One that she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to handle in those first few days after her discovery. To have found him, finally stumbled upon him after so long, only to realize he was as much beyond her reach as he had ever been, had nearly broken her.

But she had never been the kind to give up so easily. Not when it really mattered.

And nothing had ever mattered to her more than he did.

He hadn’t noticed her at all that first time, hiding in the back with tears flowing silently down her cheeks, but he has spotted her when she returned the next week. She had sat in the front row, staring him down with eyes that screamed her pain and desire.

He had fumbled his way through the service, steadily refusing to look at her, until the pews had slowly emptied around her.

When he had finally faced her, he looked haunted and deeply pained. She had nodded through his explanations of family expectations and church obligations, but she knew the truth. She could see the desperate need in his eyes. She could feel his conflict.

So, she had begun her campaign to save Ben Solo.

It was a seduction, really, more than a heroic rescue but the results were going to be the same. She was going to leave this building some day with him in tow and they were going to start the life that they had always dreamed about. The one that had been taken from them when her grandfather had shipped her off to boarding school. By the time she had been old enough to return against his wishes, Ben was gone.

She had heard his father died, the only person that had stood up for him, protected him from his mother and his uncle and their fanatical religious devotion. Han’s death had been an accident, but she knew enough about Luke and Leia to know that they had twisted the knife of Ben’s grief and his guilt until he bowed to their wishes and pursued the priesthood.

She could see it in his eyes. The belief that had planted in his mind by his manipulative mother and her own judgmental elitist grandfather- that he wasn’t good enough to be happy. He that he didn’t deserve her, or a life together. All he was good for was serving others and praying to be forgiven for his nonexistent sins.

She wasn’t going to allow that. He needed to be reminded that she wanted him and if the only way he would let her get close enough was on the other side of a confessional screen on an occasional random Thursday, then so be it.

She waited a few minutes in the pew, letting him get settled, before she started her own walk down the aisle to the confessional.

She fluffed her hair and tugged on the hem of her white skirt, adjusting everything to make sure she looked her best. He wouldn’t be able to see her through the screen, but she was making progress. Maybe today she would get him to step out and really look at her again.

The door squeaked on its hinges when she opened it, and she settled in quietly. She heard him suck in a breath and knew he had already smelled her perfume. It was the same scent she had always worn, instantly recognizable.

She had very little time on these days to get his attention, to break through the wall of stoicism that he insisted on trying to put up between them.

She began as she always did, with a joke that they used to share between them when they laughed together over his family’s aspirations for his future.

She cleared her throat delicately and said clearly, “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been bad.”

She heard him sigh deeply from the other side of the screen, but she would have bet her soul that the corners of lips were turned up in a smile her was trying to repress. "For the last time, Rey, the line is 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

“Of course, Father Ren. I always forget. Forgive me, Father for I have sinned. It has been three weeks since my last confession, which was with you, if you recall?”

He said nothing, but what could he say? That he definitely remembered because she had described for him in great detail the sin that she had committed the first time she had kissed him and how lustful the experience had made her?

“Anyway, as I was saying, Father, I have sinned since my last confession.”

“In what way have you sinned?” His voice was tense and coiled, torn between amusement, anticipation, and guilt. She might have felt sorry for him, but this was the only way to get him to stop being so stubborn.

“I have been lustful again,” she whispered softly.

He was quiet for a moment. “Since I saw you last? You’ve experienced lust? _With who_?” The last words came out on a growl and she smiled in the darkness, knowing he couldn’t see her.

“Well, let’s see…first there was…”she stopped when he growled again and this time she could not repress the giggle.

“Oh, alright. I didn’t act on my lustful thoughts because the person I was thinking about is being very stubborn.”

“So, you only had impure thoughts?” She could hear the relief in his voice, but also the hesitation. He already knew where she was going with this and he was preparing himself for the inevitable.

“I had impure thoughts, Father, but there were so many of them. It was overwhelming. It was just so…tempting.”

“Rey…” It was a warning and a plea, but she ignored it.

“I couldn’t help it. I really couldn’t. I just kept picturing you in my mind and imagining the way things used to be between us. Do you remember that, Ben?”

She would have sworn on every Bible in the church that she could actually hear his teeth grinding together. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, and it made her bolder.

“I remember,” she continued recklessly, “and I couldn’t have you, since you’re here being all pious and devoted…so I had to you…you know,” she said. And then she waited in the tense silence with her lip caught between her teeth as he processed her words.

“No, I don’t know,” he replied finally. “Explain it to me.”

Rey’s eyes widened in shock. She had wanted to ruffle his unshakable calm, get him thinking of her in the same nostalgic and sexual way that she was thinking of him, but she hadn’t expected him to play along.

“When I was alone at night, tucked into my bed, I would think of you,” she said, “and I wanted you to touch me but since you wouldn’t, I touched myself while I was thinking of you.”

“That’s very sinful, Rey. How many times have you done this?” She wished there wasn’t a screen between them, so she could see him and see the desire in his voice be reflected in his eyes.

“Every day since I was here last,” she confessed honestly.

“And how did you touch yourself? Did you touch your tits? Your nipples? Rub your clit?”

She must have been getting to him more than she realized, for him to talk like this to her here. He used to whisper filthy words in her ear when he ran his hands over her body. She had been so afraid that she would never hear them again.

“Yes, I did all of those things. I put my fingers in my cunt, the way that you used to. But it wasn’t enough because my hands are so small and yours are so much bigger. You made me feel so full and you could reach so deep into places I can’t reach,” she didn’t try to hide the little edge of whine in her voice. Let him hear how desperate she was.

“I don’t think I remember how to do those things anymore,” he sounded so sad, so incredibly broken. “I haven’t thought about those things since your grandfather forced you to leave.”

“I didn’t want to go, Ben. I’m so sorry that your Dad died. I know how hard that must have been for you and then you had no one to protect you from your mother and your uncle and their fanatical plans for you to join the church. It’s not too late.”

He didn’t answer for long that she stood up, opened the door with shaking fingers and stepped out. She waited several moments, hoping he would open his own door, but he didn’t. He probably thought she would just leave, but there was no way that was happening.

When she pushed his door open, she found him sitting with his head in his hands, Bible forgotten on the ground by his feet.

“Ben?”

He looked up at her with eyes full of tears and the guilt she had been denying slammed into her. Was she saving him from a fate he hadn’t chosen? Or just ripping him apart as he was pulled between her and his obligations?

He opened his arms and she stepped into them, pulling his head in until it rested against her stomach and wrapping her arms around him.

“I want you, Rey. I always wanted you. I’ve closed myself off for so long from feeling or wanting anything at all, but I can’t stop thinking about you. You walked back into my life and stirred up so many things I was trying so hard to forget.”

“I’m not sorry,” she said honestly. “I’m not leaving without you, not if I have to come here every day for the rest of my life. And if you ask them to move you to a new church, I’ll find you. I swear, Ben, with God as my witness in his own house, I am never giving up on you.”

He pressed his face into her stomach, breathing in her scent like a man starved for air. She shivered when he ran his fingers up her bare thighs, pushing her skirt up to bunch around her waist as his hands settled firmly on her hips.

When he lifted her, she grabbed his shoulders in surprise. “Open your legs,” he muttered and she obeyed without question, giving him enough room to settle her on his lap, one knee wedged on each side of his waist on the small bench.

There was barely enough room in the small confessional for her sit straddling his lap as she was, but she wasn’t going to complain, not when he was tangling his hands in her hair and kissing her with all of the passionate desperation that had haunted her dreams for years.

It felt like coming home, like finding part of herself that had been missing. She forgot who she was, and where she was, and everything and except the heat of his mouth oh hers, the bruising pressure of his hands on her thighs.

He pulled away from her abruptly and terror ripped through her that he had changed his mind, but he only stared at her with a look of wonder on his face. “I’ve missed you, so much. I can’t believe you’re really here.”

She didn’t try to hide the tear that slid down her cheek when he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her lips, and she tipped her head back eagerly when he nibbled his way across her jaw and down her neck.

He slipped a finger under the strap of her dress and tugged it over her shoulder. “Have you…been with anyone else?” She could feel the tension in him, the fear that she had moved on while he had been trapped here in a world of isolation.

“No, I went on few dates to appease my friends, but I could only see your face. It was only you, Ben. Always you.”

He pulled down her zipper, let the dress slide off her shoulders to pool at her waist. The thin lace bra she as wearing concealed very little.

“Mine,” he muttered, again and again as he ran his hands over her, trailing kisses over her skin and drawing her nipple into his mouth. The wet lace clung cold to her body when he moved to give equal attention to her other breast.

And everything inside of her ached with belonging. _Yours_ , she agreed, _yours, yours, yours_ …

She tugged at his belt, making him groan as her fingers brushed against the hardness the was straining to be freed.

She paused, “Are we really going to do this here?” She flicked her eyes up and met his gaze.

The look in his eyes was wild and reckless. “Yes, yes, Rey, please.” He tightened his hands on her waist, lifting his hips to grind into her.

This was her Ben, the passionate need to experience life at all costs that had spoken so deeply to her soul that she would have followed him to hell if he had only asked it of her.

She tugged his belt free, hands scrambling clumsily for his buttons as he nibbled indecently on her earlobe.

He hissed in a breath when she finally worked him free of his clothing and wrapped her fingers around him.

His cock was incredibly hard in her hand, pulsing with need as she ran her fingers over him experimentally. She smeared the precum at the tip with her thumb and brought it to her mouth, licking it with the tip of her tongue as he watched, mesmerized.

“Now, please now,” he begged, and she shifted, allowing him to pull her underwear aside and guide her hips into position until he was poised at her entrance.

She kept her eyes locked on his as she sank down slowly, taking him in one intoxicating inch at a time. He body stretched to accommodate him, and she whimpered as he filled her completely.

They sat for a moment both breathing heavily and marveling at their union after so long. It felt like an impossible dream come to life.

But emotion could hold physical off physical need for so long and she began to move, shifting her hips to take him deeper.

He cupped her ass in his hands, lifting and guiding her as she rocked against him. She clung desperately to his shoulders and set a brutal pace, eager to reclaim him and chasing pleasure that she had nearly forgotten.

The sounds of sex echoed in the small space, the wet slide and slap of flesh, her moans, his heavy breathing as each thrust drove him closer to the edge.

When he reached between the, to rub his thumb over the clit, her moans turned to loud cries and she shattered around him, her pleasure pushing him past him own limit.

There was a rush of warmth deep inside her and he pulled her down until her head rested on his shoulder.

His fingers drifted lazily over her spine, an intimacy that left her feeling hopeful in the face of her own uncertainty. He had never said this would change anything, never agreed to leave with her when it was over.

She sat up, pulling the dress back over her shoulders as he watched her. His expression was shuttered, stoic and unreadable.

“Are you leaving,” he asked quietly.

“I should. I can’t really stay here, and someone is going to come along eventually.”

She worked her zipper up, standing up in the too small space and watching as he fixed his clothes, buckled his belt.

The door squeaked when she opened it, the sound loud in the silence. The pews were blessedly empty, the only movement the shadows cast by candleflame dancing on the walls.

She was surprised when he took her hand and started walking briskly toward the front of the church. Was he kicking her out personally?

“I love you, Ben, please don’t do this,” she begged, though she didn’t try to stop him as he guided her down the aisle toward the door.

He stopped so abruptly that she ran into him.

“Don’t do what?” His face was thunderous when he turned to stare down her.

“You’re kicking me out!” Her voice was high, hysterical even to her own ears.

He shook his head, pulling her into his arms. “I am _not_ kicking you out. I love you. I have always loved you and I am leaving, right now, with you…before I can change my mind.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him for a quick and desperate kiss. She had won, and Ben was the prize.

“We are never speaking to you mother or uncle ever again,” she said firmly.

“Agreed!”

He reached for her hand again, and they ran together down the aisle, pushing the doors open and escaping into the night, into freedom.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated and feel free to follow me on Twitter if you want story updates, Adam Driver thirst, or general Star Wars related content! I am @Love_andbalance


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